How to handle conflicts at workplace

By Devashish Chakravarty

When you are faced with conflict at the workplace, your primal instinct kicks in-fight or flight. Running away translates to denial that the issue exists and sidestepping the topic when it comes up. 

Fighting involves an emotional outburst, needless aggression and fixing the blame. There is a third, professional, option that you can choose: pursuing your best interests rationally.

Conflict is best understood through three principles. First, that it is inevitable at work. A clash simply indicates that people are concerned sufficiently about an issue to disagree with each other. Accept it and proceed. 

Why workplace fracas arise

Second, that you can never win a conflict. Pushing for an outright victory escalates it to a war, where everyone gets hurt. Third, you can stabilise and resolve disagreements while creating workable solutions.

Workplace fracas arise from structural or personal causes. The former includes sharing of scarce resources, guarding one's area of responsibility, and discrepancies in seniority and compensation. 

Personal causes include ego, competitiveness, jealousy, status, and gender stereotypes. These issues grow to full-blown clashes if either party has poor communication skills or indulges in strong emotional reactions. 

However, you can master the art of conflict resolution. Here's how. 

Choose your battles wisely

Attitude: Each conflict is an opportunity to grow, irrespective of how painful the consequences. Understanding what works and what doesn't is invaluable for all future disagreements. 

So listen well to learn and arrive at the best outcome in the current conflict. This will lead to a deeper understanding of the motives of the other person, which will help you handle the issue better.

Approach: Choose your battles wisely. You cannot win or fight them all. Stick to those where the consequences matter to you. In all other disagreements, give way to preserve energy, relationships and peace of mind. 

Adopt an honest and open approach

Whether you or a competitor gets a reserved parking slot is not as important as getting the next big assignment. Seek to confront and address the issue as early as possible in its life cycle. Unless there is a clear tactical advantage, procrastination or avoidance only serves to increase the cost to your career and personal happiness.

Finally, adopt an honest, open approach and plain communication. Avoid sarcastic comments or loud interaction, and ensure that you exude a positive body language.

Action: Ask for a meeting to discuss the issue. If the other person is willing, invite a mature, unbiased mediator, such as your common boss. During the discussion, use neutral language shorn of judgmental tone and words; focus on 'I' over 'you'. 

Acknowledge actions where you were wrong

Speak about your issues and how you felt, not what the other person did. As the discussion proceeds, note down the points on which there is no disagreement. Use these as a foundation to build the solution. 

Acknowledge actions where you were clearly wrong while accepting the other person's positive contribution, both past and present. Your actions will help release some stress and bring forth reciprocal statements.

Next, make sure that both parties understand the price to be paid in terms of work output and relationships if the conflict continues to escalate. Then try to generate various agreeable solutions. 

How to deal with these colleagues

Towards the end of the meeting, request for an assurance from all parties on concrete steps that each will take to reduce the level of conflict. If there is no consensus, seek a commitment for another meeting, and on the medium of communication in the interim. Each meeting will increase the comfort and defuse the intensity of the conflict.

How to deal with these colleagues

1) The truck driver: The truck driver barrels down towards you, headlights on, honking his horn and expects you to get out of the way. To get a fair deal from him, do likewise. On most occasions, both truck drivers veer away at the last moment. If they don't, they both stand to lose.

Reciprocate in kind and give in

2) The nun: The nun prefers to give in rather than fight. This may work fine for you at times, but may not for her, which makes it unsustainable as a solution. So, the next time, reciprocate in kind and give in. This keeps the relationship going and you get what you want when it matters.

3) The pizza guy: The pizza guy mathematically slices up the issue and divides the pieces. Everyone gets a bite, but remains hungry. No one wins or loses completely. Try to bring him around to a win-win negotiation instead.

Use logical, acceptable arguments

4) The judge: The judge holds the power of law over you. This could be your boss. Use logical, acceptable arguments to move your case. However, if it's ineffective, appeal to the next, higher authority.

5) The guerrilla: The guerrilla runs away to avoid a fair fight but returns to strike with unfair means. Everyone loses in the civil war that follows. In such a case, make the issue public and ensure there is direct communication. 

(The writer is an alumnus of IIM Ahmedabad and CEO of Quetzal Verify, an HR solutions company)

Source:-The Economic Times