Surya, the sun-god, was horrified when he noticed that the woman in his house
was not his wife, Saranya but her
shadow, Chaya. He
stormed to the house of his father-in-law for an explanation, only to learn that
she had run away because she could not bear his celestial radiance.
Surya realised
that while in his story he was the victim, in his wife's story he was the
villain. That she slipped away in secret and kept a duplicate in her place was
an indicator of the extent of her fear. Had he seen the world from her point of
view, he would have realised beforehand what would frighten his wife and make
her take the drastic step of running away, leaving a duplicate in her place.
Surya then sought out his wife, and discovered she had taken the form of a
mare. Instead of asking her to change back to human form, he turns into a horse
and follows her to the pasture.
Yes, he could expect his wife to accept him as he was, or compel her to
change for him, but that would mean he was incapable of growth. Reflecting on
the other's viewpoint prompts Surya to discover his ability to adapt,
accommodate and grow. From god, he becomes animal and leads a happy life in the
pasture until Saranya is able once more to return back to the sky by his side,
as his goddess.
This story reveals how the behaviour of people around us is a reaction to how
they perceive us. If they fear us, they behave in a certain way. If they trust
us, they behave differently. All behaviours depend on how the other perceives
us. We can demand others change their perceptions of us or we can decide to
change ourselves and work on making ourselves more trustworthy. In
the latter choice lies growth.
For two years, Sandesh
had headed the operations department of his company and put in place a whole set
of systems and processes. With great difficulty, he had managed to get his team
to align. The results had been spectacular.
Then he decided to spend more time on strategic long-term thinking and
appointed Ketan to handle the operations role. He just had to ensure the systems
and processes set up over two years were being followed. But no sooner did
Sandesh hand over the reins of the company, than everything went awry. Sandesh
was angry with Ketan and his team.
But then he realised that the event revealed something about him. He had
instituted the new processes by force of his personality. Alignment happened
because people followed him, not the process. So when Ketan replaced him,
everything collapsed. Ketan did not have the same force of personality as
Sandesh. Sandesh himself was the source of the problem.
Now, he had to go back to focusing on operations. But this time, like Surya,
he had to change himself and coach people to do the tasks not because he told
them to do it, but because it was their job. In other words, he had to take
ownership of it.
By: Devdutt Pattanaik
Source:- The Economic Times
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